yah, that's a long title, but these are all things i'm trying to tell myself right now. i've already been away from my family for almost 6 months. much longer than the 3 months we originally anticipated. and i still have 4 months to go. sometimes it's easier then i thought, and others i'm not sure i can handle it. i think about running away, to mexico, and then have them meet me there. but eventually i would probably get caught. adn that would be bad. and staying here, even though it sucks right now, in 13 months when i finally graduate from tech school, it will be good....or better, the air force has already done so much.
so since i wrote last, again a lot has happened, i know i need to write more, for your sake and mine. i just feel so unmotivated to write. but i know it will help get some stuff out. so i will try.
okay so after i graduated basic, i thought that was the hard part. but little did i know that tech school was the hard part. i thought that after graduating from basic made me an official airman, but it doesn't. now i have to get through school. and it's hard.
i was on details at lackland for about a week before i started class. details is when you basically still have to wake up and show up "to work" but you don't really do anything except sweep and mop a little , clean up the squadron, and sometimes they have something big for you to do like move furniture. but i only had to do that a week before i started class, then i started class. contracting is a hard job to get into and it's a hard job to stay in. i studdied and studdied, but the info wasn't sticking. it was all law and forms. that's not my thing...so anyway i failed my block two test with a 65, re took it (a different test) and got another 65. so then i got kicked out. it was a monday, so i was in blues. i had to go back to the dorms and change into abus. i didn't think i could feel ashamed to put any uniform of the air force on...but i felt it taht day. i cried basically the whole day. i just felt like a failure. they told me that i was most likely giong to be re classed so i shouldn't worry about being kicked out of the air force, so for that i was sord of excited b/c i knew that i really didn't want that job. but still, that day it was hard to see past the failure part. i just felt like i let everyone down. so i went back to details that day. which, this is where "some things fall apart so others can fall into place" really comes into place. i met some cool people on details, and made some friends who made the wait for my new class so much better.
so i was on details for two weeks, then i went home for christmas break. which was amazing. i was so happy to be home with my family!! i took lots of pics which i will share. anyway, that mostly consisted of a lot of mommy babies time, and some mommy daddy time :) and a lot of family time. i helped my move she's now in chicago. i got to hang out with christen and i got to see my dad and linda and scott. i took some pics for dad and linda, which i'm still working on editing. almost done, you guys will get them soon :) and scott you will get your back pack soon, i don't have a debit card right now. b/c i lost my wallet over exodus (christmas break) anyway i'll have that this week, and will send it as soon as i get it.
okay okay so then i got back from christmas break and went back to details. sometime after that i don't remember how long, i went to my reclass briefing and piced jobs that i would like to be reclassed into. i picked cardiopulmonary, photography, diet therapy, med lab, and air trans, air trans b/c i wanted to stay at lackland. they said that it could take one week, to 3 months for them to pick a job....3 months???!!!! i just thought if i have to be here doing details for three months....by that time i was sat pushing, which is when you bring in the newbies who just graduated from basic and take them through there first week, and help them transition from basic to tech school. answer millions of questions a day, and just help them feel comfortable. it took a lot of time, but i really enjoyed doing it.
so fri, jan 22, 1 day over two weeks since i filled out my "dream sheet" for my jobs, my contracting class graduated. i went to their graduation. i was so excited for them, but it kinda sucked that i should have been there. i should have been graduating that day and leaving the next day to see my family and get ready to go to our new base....but instead i was sitting in the audiance in my abus, congradulating them. so after that i watched my big sister graduate and then went back to the squadron and felt once again like i suck at life and continued to do what i do in detials. then someone told me that tsgt warren was looking for me...and i kind of had a feeling what it was about, so i immidiatley got nervous. so i went to his office, and he said "so i have some news" but a depressing, it's not good news kinda voice. and he said "do you knwo what this is about" and i said "sir, i think it's about weather or not i'm getting reclassed" and he said "what do you think" and i said "sir, i really hope i'm getting reclassed" and then he showed me the screen, which said 4h031. so i knew i was getting reclassed, i just know to what...and so i said "what is that?" and he said "cardiopulmonary" i litterally started crying. i couldn't have been more excited! i just went from a hard, amazingly good job, to another hard amazingly good job...i'm like the luckiest person alive. not only that, midical is what i wanted when i first came into the air force, but contracting was the only job available to me at the time.
so i started my out processing stuff that day. i was so excited i got reclassed and to the best job ever no less...i felt blessed, which is a feeling a h ad been lacking lately. i was so sad to leave lackland, i was scared to go to another base, and start completely over again. i know i'll do that a lot througout my career, but i'll have my family with me. this time i was on my own, and i was scared. "what if i can't pass this class, what if no one likes me, what if i fail again, and kicked out...i'll be done" these are the things that went through my head. i had some good friends, especially matthew that helped me leave with a possitive attitude. and of course my family, my husband and kids are thre greates help. they're what keep me goign every day, b/c even though ti doesn' feel like it right now, i'm doing this for them.
so i left wednesday the 27th. lots of tears were shed, mostly the night before when i said by to everyone. and nervously i went to the airport, and took the two - one - hour -flights to wichita falls texas. a place which when i got there, was everythign i expected...nothing. there was nothign there but road. now i've been in actual wichita falls, and it's not that bad. i mean it's certainly no comparrison to san antonio, but it's not that bad.
so here i am, i've been here for two weeks, i've made a few friends, and i'm back on details. my class starts march 5th, so pray it starts sooner, b/c they don't have a sat pushing program here...so i'm just on detials. and i've already been here for two weeks, and have 4 more to go before i start class. my class here is 3 months long, i graduate on june 11th, so long as i don't get washed back, which is very common here. that where you stay in the same class, same job, just you take some of it over again. but anyway, my expected grad date is june 11, then i have phase 2, which is 9 months, and will be at a different base (that's where the 13 months comes in) but for the 9 months, my family will be able to move with me. so it wont be so bad, and i'll be able to live with them. so if i can just get through the next 4 months....
i miss lackland a lot. mostly the people, it was more of a family over there, and other people that are here that came from lackland say the same thing. i don't know waht it is, maybe b/c we're on the same base as our basic...i'm not sure, but i miss it. but it's okay, everything happens for a reason. my base is no longer dyess, but i will let everyone know as soon as i know what it is. i know this was a lot of writing, but i had to get it all out. i miss everyone, and wish i was home. but i will be soon. love you all!!!
A1C Ringlein
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